“If you wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.” ~Toni Morrison
About eleven years ago, when I was going through a very emotional time in my life, I had the craziest dream that I feel I will always remember. You see, I had left the father of my kids and I was somewhat afraid that I couldn’t make it on my own as a single mother, and when you go through something that truly tests the grit that you are made of, you start to go through self-doubt.
In my dream I saw myself in an airport. I was extremely excited about where I was going, but as I was awaiting my flight to board, I just sat there staring at nothing. The moment I heard my flight being called for everyone to board I immediately stood up, but what happened next was scary as hell. I started to pick up several bags, and some I remember thinking to myself, “Why do I need this?” It was unnecessary baggage!
The person over the intercom started to call for the last passengers to board the flight, and I was still collecting my belongings! Finally, after I grabbed everything, I tried running as fast as I could to where I was to board, but all of the stuff that I was carrying weighed me down and I felt as if I was running in slow motion.
I remember feeling so desperate to get to the plane because where it was going was where I wanted to go my whole life. Sadly, I missed my flight and I sat in the middle of the airport crying and screaming and pleading with people as to why they didn’t help me.
When I woke up, I actually had tears streaming down my face. I knew right then and there what my dream was telling me: I had far too much weight on my shoulders that was holding me down. And in order to fly and be free, I had to let go of all of that unnecessary baggage that had been holding me down.
We women are very emotional creatures, and yes, we do tend to carry a lot of baggage with us. And it doesn’t matter what race, creed, or religion that we proclaim, if we don’t learn to deal with and heal ourselves, we will continue to carry it around.
I learned a lot from my dream. One lesson that stuck out the most was why the people around me didn’t help me: it was because the emotional work was meant for me to do; others couldn’t do it for me.
So, what is it that we can do to heal? Here are some tips that you can use to let those bags go:
- Forgive, Forgive, And Forgive! Forgiveness is the Main ingredient in the recipe for healing. By holding onto that anger, resentment, and guilt, it only weighs you down. Forgiving the other person is not letting the other person off the hook. No, if they did you wrong, you don’t have to pretend that it was okay for what they did. Forgiveness, so we have been told, is what really sets you free and allows you to move on with your life. That person might be sleeping well at night, while you are holding onto all of the anger. Holding a grudge is like drinking a bottle of poison and expecting the other person to die. It won’t happen!
- Learn to clear your mind: Meditation and Yoga, whether some believe it or not, is extremely beneficial to controlling the raging she-hulk inside of you. It helps you to connect with the part of you that was once caged away. Learning to control your mind, your breath, and your body will help to remind you that you DO have control over your emotions. Plus there are many more benefits in meditation and yoga practices.
- Commune with a Higher Power: whether you believe in GOD, Goddesses, Allah, the Universe, etc., when you connect to a power that is higher than what you are, you start to see that you are a part of the whole and you are NEVER alone!!!
- Be patient with yourself: some things may have had years and years to fester in your spirit. It will not take one night to heal something that happened to you when you were a child. Do not rush the process, but know that with each step, you ARE getting stronger and you are releasing some of that weight.
- Get to know the “New” you: learn your strengths and weaknesses as the person you are today. The past is long gone and only exists in our memories. Take the time to get to know who you are as a person: what your likes and dislikes are, what makes you laugh, what makes you tick, etc. Women, learn to relax, heal, and learn to be happy with who you are alone before rushing into a new relationship so that you won’t take the old resentments of the previous relationship into the new one. If you cannot enjoy your own company, don’t expect anyone else to. And men can smell baggage and desperation a mile away!
- Seek Counseling: it is not wrong to seek out help. If you feel that you need to talk to someone, rather it is a Pastor, a doctor, or your closest home girl (but make sure she has a healthy outlook on life first, or she will just add more gas to your fire) do NOT be ashamed about seeking help. Many of us are out here fighting a serious fight and try so hard to hide it from others. If you need help, go seek it! But here is the twist: if you cry out for help and just complain and don’t do anything to really correct the situation and heal, expect others to back off from helping you. That means you like the mess you are in and really don’t want the help. That is a Drama Queen, don’t be that girl!
“The time has come to lay that baggage down and leave behind all the struggling and striving. You can be set free as you journey forward into a balanced healthy and rewarding future.” ~Sue Augustine
Rather it’s Coach, Gucci, Plastic, or Paper…it’s time to unpack those bags, Bag Lady!! You can’t fly with all of that stuff weighing you down. The time is now for you to be free and go where your heart wants to take you. Do you want REAL love? Financial Freedom? Abundance? Prosperity? Amazing group of friends? Supportive Family? Then clear out that mess and clean your house and don’t forget to sweep all around your own front porch!!