Listen up my U.G.L.I. People…what I am about to tell you, you probably already know, but I am going to reiterate in my own style.
Stop trying to change people!! Work on yourself!
It’s part of our human-ness to go back to what I like to call our “Default level.” (This is why it is important to do some deep self-development and process your deep shit so you can change your default level).
What is this default level? It’s simple; it’s the hot button that resets automatically when one has reached a comfortable place in their lives.
The guy/girl who when you first dating that was so sweet and attentive, is always showing more attention to their video games or their Apple iPhone now.
The person with anger issues will probably show their horns after being around them after a time.
The woman who is a narcissist will make you feel like you’re the cream of the crop, until she begins to take off her mask and make you feel like dog shit on the bottom of her shoe.
People who are habitually late will continue to be, well, habitually late.
Others who are always on time, will always judge those who are late.
Those who love to take, take, take, will continue to prey on those who love to give, give, and give!
When you finally come to this conclusion that people will be who they are, until they are truly ready to change, you will NEVER get them to change.
Why? BECAUSE THAT IS WHO THEY ARE AT THIS MOMENT!
This is why it imperative to do what Michael Jackson sang, “I’m starting with the man in the mirror.” You cannot change anyone else besides yourself. Let people be who they are. Become a witness and not a judge.
Now, this is also equally important: you can change your relationship to those people if they are unwilling to change. Especially if it is something that they are doing that is draining your energy. Not everyone deserves a front row seat in your life.
It will be much easier for you to forgive them, but don’t forget; accept it, but don’t stay around it; tolerate it or get the hell out; but realize that you will never be able to change their colors, only they can do that. Stop trying to make them a pretty, calming blue if they choose to be flaming, hot red.