Stop Being So Damn Selfish…But Learn How To Take Care Of YOU!!

Love, Light, & Magick



“Self-Care is not about Self-Indulgence, it’s about Self-Preservation.”  ~Audrey Lorde


I want to begin this post with a rule that people have to follow when they board on an airplane.  Right before takeoff, Flight Attendants will go over the do’s and dont’s of flying.  The rule that I’m talking about: securing your mask before you assist others.

Now, as a mother, I would want to take care of my children first to make sure that they are alright before I do anything.  But, as someone explained to me, I now realize why you MUST secure your mask first.  The reason is how can you assist someone with their oxygen if you are running out of oxygen yourself?  Are you starting to get it?  Yes?  No?  Maybe?  Well, allow me to break it down for you.

Women in general are natural caretakers.  We do so many things for others and place ourselves on the backburner.  The moment we even attempt to do something for ourselves, people look at us cross-eyed as if we are the most selfish creatures that ever walked the damn planet.

I am here to let you know that it is time that we take care of ourselves FIRST and not last anymore.  “What once was the tail is now the head…”

The question I feel the need to ask you is, how can we fill someone up to the brim and cause them to overflow when our pitcher is half full?  We will never be able to do it.  There are a lot of women who are bitter and resentful because what they need to learn is how to say NO to the wants of others and for once, put their needs first.

[bctt tweet=”No is a complete sentence…You do not need to explain yourself! ” username=”Renee0305″]

Is that wrong for me to tell you to be selfish?  Hell to the no, it is not.  And to set the record straight right here and right now, it isn’t called being selfish, it is Self-Care.  Say it with me: SELF-CARE.  Take care of the self just as you would care for others.

When you take the time to care for the self, then the chances of you “going off” on your child because they spilled milk on the carpet will be slim.  Your Husband would probably get more of the cookie because you are well rested and have the energy to “break him off.”Point is, when “Mama is happy, the whole house is happy.”When you take the time to take care of yourself, then helping others won’t seem like a chore.

I want to give you a homework assignment.  Yes, an assignment.  I want you to break out a sheet of paper (maybe even two), your laptop, your iphone, your ipad, or whatever you have to use and I want you to make out a list of things that bring you joy, not anyone else, just YOU.

And this is the kicker; there are a lot of you out there that will look at that piece of paper like you are a dumb deer caught in headlights.  That is just sad.  What brings you joy?  What makes you feel that your soul has just been set free and you can’t wait to go do it again?  If you seriously have no idea, I will give you some examples of what you can do to care for yourself and please aim to do at least one thing on your list once (or more) a day.

Take a Milk and Rose Oil bath while sipping a glass of Red Wine (one of my FAVES!!)Wear one of your lovely dresses and treat yourself to lunch at an expensive CaféSign up for the class that you’ve wanted to take (photography, art, cooking, etc.)Go get an hour long hot stone massage Get a Deluxe Mani and Pedi and show them offGo to a hotel bar/restaurant and flirt like a high school girlTake a Yoga and Meditation classPut on a Sexy Dress and take on a new persona for the nightTake a Belly Dancing class to unleash your inner sex kittenGet a professional picture taken of you in the NUDE *gasp*Go to your local bookstore and sit in one of those comfy chairs while reading a book and drinking a cup of hot green teaBurn a CD/download of all of your favorite songs and sing along to themGo spend the night alone at a cozy Bed & Breakfast and have them cater to youLight candles and listen to smooth JazzPick up your childhood favorite ice cream treat and eat it slowlyWatch old Saturday morning cartoons that you loved as a kid while eating cereal in bedTreat yourself to a facialGo to see a matinee by yourselfGo to a park and see how high you can swingSave up some cash and buy yourself some silk pajamasGo to a fancy car dealership, dressed to the nines, and test drive your dream car.Have the women at the cosmetic counters give you a complimentary makeoverHave a few friends over and have a vent fest complete with wine, cheese, and grapes

Well, there you have it.  Self Care is extremely important and do not let anyone tell you otherwise!  Instead of becoming bitter and fed up with life, take time to take care of YOU!

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